Guess who was tricked into going on a double date today?
Oh, yes, that would be me!
See, I was SUPPOSED to be getting dinner with a few people from work — a girl (who has an SO), a guy (who has an SO), and another guy (who I’m pretty sure is single).
But then I got to dinner, and the other girl had bailed, so it was me, single guy, and guy (who has an SO) brought his girlfriend.
Which, fine, whatever. She was great and shit happens.
Then they start being like “Oh, R, you should go to these various restaurants with us! You should join us on an inter-state romp for halloween!” which like I had never hung out with these guys outside of work, I’d never met the girlfriend before, but like suddenly *~plans~* everywhere.
And then single guy insisted on paying for my dinner.
And there was absolutely no point in the night where it would have been not-awkward to mention that I have a boyfriend, because there was no topic of conversation where I could have brought him up, and nothing that was said or done was — on its own — enough to merit a “hold on a second”
But I very much feel like I was duped into going on a date, and I’m not really sure how I feel about it.
I DID call my BF as soon as I left the restaurant to be like “OMG LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY WEIRD NIGHT” and he was completely chill about it but damn. Yeah.
I was using that website that makes a playlist with the music on your tumblr, and David Tennant reading Harry Potter came up…
Do you remember that guy I saw HTTYD2 with? Yeah, we’ve been dating fairly steadily for the past few weeks. Last night we decided to date each other exclusively, and therefore I have disabled my account. I’m really happy with him. He’s easy to talk to and we get along well.
well I found my high school rapist on okcupid
which allows me to out this fucker
this man is named Ian Dickinson. he lives in Vancouver WA and he is 24 years old. when I was 16 and he was 19, he and an accomplice (who I will not out for personal reasons) assaulted me in his bed while I cried and begged them to stop. when I told him afterwards that what he had done wasn’t ok, he told me I shouldn’t have worn the skirt I had on and I deserved it, and then he laughed. we were both sober.
he’s studying Engineering at Clark Community College in Vancouver. stay away from him.
Stay safe, ladies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
remember to tag his name in your reblogs
Have you heard of Slipper? (www.slipperapp.com) What is your opinion on apps that judge whether it’s worth it to meet people based on a “hot or not” mentality vs. ones that celebrate moments in human interaction; like missed connections (as Slipper does)?
(submitted by wednesdaysatnoon4)
My feeling is that neither of those things is really an accurate way to judge relationship compatibility. Physical attraction and good interactions are both important ingredients in a relationship, but “hot or not” basically completely ignores personality, and “missed connections” (as I understand it) basically attempts to manufacture a movie-style romance. ”We saw each other across a crowded train platform, her smile was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen, then her train came and she left and I never even got her name.” Or “We had a pleasant conversation in a coffee shop about the book we were both reading, then she had to leave for an appointment before I got a chance to ask for her number.” It’s attempting to use moments in human interaction to spark a relationship, but small moments like these are a dime a dozen and don’t actually reveal anything about your compatibility with the other person.
Much as I grumble about the quality of messages I receive on OkCupid, I do think that overall they’ve got a good system in place. You can find people with mutual interests and you can tell fairly easily from the match questions whether there are any topics you seriously disagree on. From there you can either email for a while or jump straight to coffee to see how well you get along in an actual conversation. That to me seems like a better system than chasing an illusion based on a few minutes of pleasant conversation with a random stranger.
Oh. My. Gawd.
I had this thought a while ago but I’m finally putting it into words. I think I finally figured out why guys constantly feel compelled to tell me how ‘cool’ it is that I’m tall and how much they like tall girls. They think they are assuring me that it’s OK….because I’m ashamed of being tall. That I don’t like it.
I love being tall. I’ve never let it stand it the way of whoever I want to date (although I do prefer taller men) and it always helps with life in general. Shelves, they are my bitches. And, more to the point, nobody has ever made me feel BAD about being tall.
Now maybe I’m reading into this too much, but seriously. Guys tell me all the time, in a manner that suggests they are giving me a unique compliment or saying something new and positive that’s assuaging some age-old guilt or insecurity by telling me my height is awesome. And I can’t help but either think “Yeah….I know….” or “Um…why should I fucking care what you think about any part of my body?”
It’s like if someone says “omg I LOVE blue eyes” and then looks at your like they’ve made this groundbreaking statement that is so rare and unique. How are you supposed to respond to that? “OK? Well…I have them, so….yay for you?”
And it’s ALMOST ALWAYS shorter guys, too. Short guys say “btw, I love that ur tall” as in, “btw, don’t feel that you are ugly or too gangly for me, this awesome specimen of man." You never get that from a tall guy. If tall guys say it, it’s still a positive thing but it’s always so much more casual and is more often than not about how they don’t have to bend over double to hug or kiss a girl. They’re still thrilled about it, but there isn’t that short-guy thuuurst.
I used to get guys reassuring me that they thought it was cool that I’m a nerd (or that they are also nerds, so hooray for things in common or whatever). Then I changed that line to say “I am a nerd and proud of it,” and since then I don’t think I’ve had anybody comment on the fact that I’m a nerd. Might help to change the line about your height to something that more accurately captures the spirit of the “shelves are my bitches” thing?
I don’t get why guys think that first messages have to be unique or crazy or whatever. They just have to NOT SUCK. Talking about only yourself (stuff I could have easily read in your profile) instead of asking questions or even feigning interest? That counts as sucking.
"They just have to NOT SUCK."
It doesn’t seem like it should be that big of a thing to ask, and yet at least 90% of the messages that guys send trying to start a conversation do, in fact, suck.
I love it when they promise intelligent conversation in a bland message that is completely devoid of content.
You missed an opportunity to message them back saying that you ARE interested in “someone with whom you can have fun, as well as have an intelligent conversation,” but that based on their profile and message, they are not that person.
Because their message just says to message back if that’s what you want, not if you think they can provide it.