And here’s the thing about casual sex

Even if casual sex is a thing I might be interested in, I am not just going to agree to casual sex with a random stranger on OkCupid.  I don’t care if you look like Adonis’s cuter brother.  If I haven’t taken at least a bit of time to talk to you, I am not going to agree to that.

Why not?  BECAUSE I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE WHETHER YOU WOULD EVEN BE ANY GOOD IN BED.

I don’t know whether you can tell the difference between a pain noise and a pleasure noise.  I don’t know whether you care about telling the difference.

I don’t know whether you’ll treat me like a person or like a toy that exists for your pleasure.

I don’t know whether you’ll listen when I ask you to stop doing something.

I don’t know whether you understand the importance of cuddling afterwards.  For all I know you’ll just get up and leave and leave me there feeling miserable and used.

If I am going to fool around with someone I’m not dating, it’s going to be someone I trust, and someone who I know cares about me as a person and wants me to have a good time.  Someone who makes the effort to let me know I’m safe with them.  Not some random dude from OkCupid who thinks that a request for casual sex is an appropriate way to start the conversation.

Ok but seriously.

"if not its cool i get it"

This is just really annoying me.

I do not need your permission to not be interested in casual sex with you, teenager I’ve never interacted with before.  Like, yes, it is better than being an asshat about being rejected, but it comes off as implying I need permission to reject you.  And you’ve already been an asshat by disregarding literally my entire profile when you sent that message.

Casual sex is not on the list of things I am looking for.

You are multiple years younger than the youngest I am interested in talking to.

We are 31% enemies according to OkCupid’s match algorithm.

If your goal was to come off as being explicitly Not A Dick, you failed.

Dude is NINETEEN YEARS OLD.  I am 24.  NO.

Home from my date!

onlinedating-adventures:

I deleted the original post about having a date today because R commented on it not realizing that it would credit the comment to her personal blog rather than this blog and she didn’t want that and I am home and she is not.  Anyway.  Date was pleasant.  We met up at 4:30 to watch How to Train Your Dragon 2 at 4:50, got dinner afterward, spent some time just wandering around and talking.  Spent a total of about five hours together, and maintained interesting conversation the whole time.  I will probably see him again.

Update: He texted me shortly after I posted this to say thanks again for a good night and we should do it again sometime.  So we’re possibly doing either mini golf or hiking next weekend.

Failures by R

Actually the advent of Failures by R is a perfect opportunity to own up to my hiatus, for anyone who remembers that I used to post things/cares why I stopped.

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Home from my date!

I deleted the original post about having a date today because R commented on it not realizing that it would credit the comment to her personal blog rather than this blog and she didn’t want that and I am home and she is not.  Anyway.  Date was pleasant.  We met up at 4:30 to watch How to Train Your Dragon 2 at 4:50, got dinner afterward, spent some time just wandering around and talking.  Spent a total of about five hours together, and maintained interesting conversation the whole time.  I will probably see him again.

Did you know: the only way I ever hear about E’s dating life is by reading about it on this blog?

Because that’s not even an exaggeration.

The ONLY way I hear about it is on this blog.

—r

Followed by a phone number and a name.

My response was this link, because one just wasn’t enough.